When you lost your job and everything that you envisioned, not cuz of your skills, your performance, but cuz of some illegal government policy under a brainless regime, there’s infinite WTFs echoing through your head but there’s literally nothing you could do about it. Nothing.

Frustrations, hopelessness, bitterness, and all those emotions but multiplied 10x.

A lot of nights, I was completely exhausted, but there’s just 0 chance I could fall asleep. I think, I panic, and I pray.

SEVIS terminations, that’s what they call it, and I became a part of history along with 5000 other individuals. 

3 groups of people are affected. 
1. Those who stood up for Gaza. 
2. Those with criminal records.
3. Those that had unauthorized employment.

Side note: Fuck the genocide too

How did this all happen for me?
I was under the 2nd group. But no reasons were given in the email that showed up in my inbox. And the only violation that I had was a traffic violation in 2021 (an infraction) that I paid 500 bucks to get it EXPUNGED, that got me deported. There’s no reasons, no cause, and no due process. Doesn’t that mean expungement is completely useless? 

You thought lawyers would bring you some justice. But fun fact, I found out that 80% of the immigration lawyers that you find online will not show up in court for you, they simply passed the Bar exam and files forms for you. And I learned that through the hard way, through paying multiple lawyers $300 for a consultation just for them to tell me, “I can’t help you”.

If you can’t beat a traffic case, how do you even become a lawyer? That’s what I’m thinking. 

I remember my friend tried to bring me to a club so I could loosen up a bit. But the entire time I was just texting back this one lawyer who ended up trying to sue me because he didn’t tell me that his license was suspended previously for missing a clients immigration court hearing. And I’m definitely not paying someone 10k that’s suspended to fight my suspended VISA case. Like common bruh.

After that, I hired another lawyer through Threads that ended up dropping me 12 hours before my OPT expires, and she refused to give me a full refund while she was taking up new clients when I was under such urgency. Shabnam Lofti, that’s her name.

As a result, I got laid off for the first time, from a job that I sought for and worked my ass off for. It was my dream to work in the Silicone Valley, and I can proudly said that I’ve done that as a boy from Taiwan with 0 tech background. 

Along with that, I also lost my car, my apartment, and was not even given the chance to move out. My college roommate did all that for me, and I can’t thank him enough for helping me through all this mess.

I would say that I’m very lucky at times, but also unfortunate at times when I need the most luck. 

Things might be super unjustified at times. When you were younger, you get really emotional. But when you get older, you get less emotional, and things that’s so fucked up turns out to be just alright.

It’s time to look forward.

And overtime, frustrations died down and I had to figure out what’s next. Cuz as a grown individual, you don’t bitch about it, and recognize that the past belongs in the past no matter how beautiful it might be. 

There might be a new door. And I’m telling myself, there has to be. Everyone goes through their own battles, and this is simply one that is a part of my character development arc, which is still better than alot of people that’s stuck in active war zones and severe living conditions.

I am going to make sure that I open this other door, no matter how long that's going to take. 

And I have to constantly remind myself that I have to be grateful under all circumstances. I got friends that love me, some that even flew to Taiwan to visit me, and I got to spend time with my mom who is getting older. 

I gotta be patient. But I look forward to what’s next. 

Deportation

I used to get anxiety for no reason, just like being a room or sth, literally, I get anxiety because I was doing nothing, and I felt like I was wasting my life away.

But now I actually have things to get anxiety for. Jobs, relationships, and how much personal growth I’m achieving every once in a while. In freshman year, I used to just think about how to meet friends and just go out there and find things to do. Now, I’m like constantly working for a goal that I don’t know if I can reach. 

Is it as fun? I don’t know man, but I feel like I’m more goal oriented, and I kind of know where I am going now, at least career wise. Not like the time I first came into engineering, and the only thing I knew about it is that it’s a hard subject, and I somehow have to navigate my way out.  Through time, I eventually narrowed down my options and test and trials things here and there. 

I still have close to 0 clue if the path I picked are better or worse than 50% of all the other paths in the parallel world that could have happened. But I can actually say, which sounds pretty cliche, but it actually is about the friend group that I am in and the people I met that got me on this current track. And basically what I do, is just code, talk with my roommates, call my mom and get scolded on how single I am, then do job search, code, some 2k, then repeat. 

Again, you, ask, do you find this boring? You kind of just get used to it. Less playing time, more grind time. So you just gotta have your goal and be tunnel visioned, at least that’s what I been telling myself everyday when I wake up.

But ya, I guess, it’s been 4 years, time to move on to the next stage of my life.

But ya, life’s kinda dull now especially I can’t hoop. The people I talk to are so tight now, we like siblings and it’s okay for me to kinda not meet people, which I know is a dangerous mindset.

But i guess, now, I’m lucky enough to receive a full time role after college. 

Would I say that I came out better than what I envisioned myself coming to college? Probably, I never dreamed that I could make a good amount of money where I can buy a new car first year. But at the same time, I was really huge in the entrepreneurial mindset when I first came in to college. I definitely want to get back to it someday, but I felt like the best decision now, is to get some money first because I am the only income source for my family and that I need to get a lil bag first before chasing my dream especially as an international student, because my status will be in question. But I will definitely say, the bonds I formed with people is stronger than what I could of imagined. Those are brothers to me, and people I’ll call, regardless of the situation.

Do I love Purdue?
Ya man. It’s a great school. I def want to experience going for school/research in my parallel universe self. It gave me a lot great experiences and knowledge that I do not know if I’ll be getting elsewhere. The only thing bad about it is, both me and my friends are leaving this place single, and being in stem so long kind of made us not able to talk to women. But, anyways, that’s kind of it for my current update.

Looking at the previous video I made 4 years ago, I literally cringe out, I’m like, why am I like this? I literally took it down in freshman year right after I posted, but I decided to put it back up as it is part of growing up and embracing the difference. I guess I have matured a bit. I am gonna be in a big world, I don’t know how it is gonna work out, don’t know how I’m gonna be meeting new friends in the rest of the journey, but I just believe that everything will work out.

I’m on chasing the next dream,
Love you, mua,
BYE

Bye College

As responsibilities grow, our perspectives change. And one of the things that get lost along the way is our childhood dreams, at least for a good amount of people.

Whether it’s about the type of person you want to become, or your dream career, they all evolve over time. And that shows signs of growing up and maturing as an adult. I’m still in college, so I don’t have much to speak about being mature and all that. 

BUT, I still remember I once dreamed of becoming the president as well as being an astronaut. Ofc, I also dreamed to become an NBA player. And when you are young, you are fearless when it comes to dreaming. When you’re older, you eliminate a lot of those thoughts because you start to become more down to earth. 

I also used to dream so often. You remember when you are a kid, and everyday, you wake up with a new dream. There are no boundaries to how much dreams we can have. And you talk about your dream so passionately because you see them as a possible reality, at least for the happy dreams. That’s because, when we are young, everything seems possible.

We also dream about dumb things. Including dreaming about a girl that you had a crush on. It’s similar to falling in love. When we are young, it’s so easy to fall in love because you never got rejected before, and the world seems so small because you are living in that environment where everyone knows you, and you know everyone. But as you grow older, you stop considering the possibilities because there’s just too much that’s happening out there, and you have less time just thinking about the possibilities.

I remember I had this dream, where I had wings and I was flying in the mountains with my friends and stuff. I was genuinely so happy, and I woke up telling my mom about what happened. Imagine if I had the dream now, I would just wake up and say, “Damn, what a dumb dream”. I appreciate things less as I started to be more realistic.

We only think about what’s possible, not what makes us happy. We exclude things that are outside of our imagination if it doesn’t seem legitimate and just forget about them, even tho sometimes we shouldn’t. 

It’s like when u wake up from a dream, you forget the most important things that you want to remember.
 
When you get older, you forget the purpose of dreaming.

When you are young, you dream of what happens in 20 years, but you focus on the present. You think about what to eat today, you think about what to do for fun when there’s a break, and you think about how to do dumb things in class, at least that’s what I think about. However, now, I think about stuff more in the long run. What do I mean by that? Simply put, I start to care less about what events happens daily. Whatever happens, happens. I think about everything as a step leading to a goal that I am hoping to obtain in the next 5 years. Everyday is a continuous grind, it may be boring, but that’s okay. Consistency is the key, as I learned over time. Ofc, luck is a main factor, but putting in the work is also required. I sometimes wonder, if it is because I reflect more, I start dreaming less.

Am I saying that as you get older, you forget how to dream? No, absolutely not.

Am I too afraid of dreaming as big as I was back when I was 6? Honestly, probably a little bit. In order to retain that innocence as a child when you grow up, I believe that the power to dream is a main factor of that. Being fearless, like no one has the right to push down your imagination, that’s how everyone should live. And I do hope everyone lives like that. 

But as you grow older, your environment, people around you, will push you back, and that’s what we call obstacles. Some people come back up, and some don’t. And every time someone pushes me down, I think about how there’s people out there who’s dealing with things that are much worse, and that I should be grateful even when I am facing problems like this. They don’t have the opportunity to even chase their dreams but have to deal w worldly problems.

One day I’ll do that, and another day, I’ll do that. I still keep that mindset alive. But I’ve learned more on how to do that and think about how I am going to accomplish those small steps before I make a dream come to place. I still want to do a lot of things, including getting a pilot license, get a lawyer degree, and possibly owning a NBA franchise someday. I don’t know. 

“Dreams aren’t just dreams anymore, they become goals.” I have learned to be grateful for even dreaming and be thankful for everything I have. If you are still watching, I hope that you continue to chase that dream, even if you are dealing with something that others don’t understand. Anyways, it’s always a good thing to reflect again on your childhood dreams and see how you’ve evolved as an individual.

Dreams

You know, you be watching those around you, and you wonder if, you as good as the rest of your peers. Heck ya, that’s what others would want you to say. Successful, and all that. And fuck ya, I believe in that. 

I believe in my will power. I also believe that whatever I want, I will get that. It’s a battle of how bad I want it. With all the resources around me, I feel like there’s no shot I’ll have to take a more difficult path. Trying, but not the hardest. Or is that what I’m doing.

Making momma proud, wanting people to admire you, wanting people from your childhood that look down on you and say. Hey man, you doing way better than I expected. I am kind of jealous man. This is the mindset that I always have. 

But also sometimes you gotta to look at yourself from 3rd person view. Get a realistic you, you feel me. What actually is possible, what actually is the correct path? Am I on that path, am i just not working hard enough, and am I actually surrounding myself with people that makes me feel that way? What you believe in determines how big of a role you’ll get. In society, in friend groups. It’s the same. It’s the mentality.

How do I want to be successful? In what ways? I feel like I am already in a king in both how determined I am, and how easy it is for me to maintain and build new friendships. That’s like the easiest thing for me.

What actually makes me happy? The journey that I am currently on to receive the fruit that eventually blossom? Or is it the moments that I am currently spending with friends, people that I love, and just having a good time.

There’s never any good weighs on both of these factors. One is something you can attain with willpower and talent. The other is what you can cherish, that just comes in your way. Not that it’s easy for you to have what you have now, it’s that you just don’t think about “fate” whenever these moments happen. It’s those that we expect, those that we don’t question, those that we know that is going to happen.

20, 30, 40 years you look back. On another scale, you look at the accomplishments laid on your desk, in your room. And on the other hand, there’s those memories that you would die for just to go back. Like smoking a joint with Jeremy, Shashank, and all those good dudes. 

Those moments come so perfectly, so impeccably, so right. And those are things that we can’t even use any of the accomplishments to buy back or exchange for. 

The other question is, are you just living in the past? No, now the thought rewinds. We still want better. Life is about keep wanting better.

Greed, is that the only thing that consumes us? Honestly, I don’t know?

Then again, why are we working hard? To provide for those that are around us, those who are important to us, pride again? 

I love them, and from the bottom of my heart, I fucking do.

What Matters

Ghosts are afterlife. But they different from humans. It’s a rebirth as a new ghost. U first have to wake up in a random part in the afterworld, which is the same as the world. But instead in 3D, we can see each other like shadows. See through, you feel me, but still got clothes and stuff. So don’t think weird, u weird fucks. 

Then what happens, but like humans, u are born either a good place or a bad place, you won’t be able to tell. But instead, you are born into a house. There are 7 houses in this world, and it’s like an empire but it’s grazed onto your ghostlike skin. It’s a flame that lights up with the specific color that represents your house. Purple, orange, yellow, blue, etc… 

How ghosts eat? It’s also by luck, this is what I meant by being born into a good or bad place. If you privileged, you get sorted into a house that has wealthy living humans. Food, when it’s cooked, it remains at the same shape that it’s done. Even when humans bite it after, it’s all good. We got the entire meat. 

Why don’t I as a ghost don’t just live in another house then? No, that’s dominated by other ghosts that are born into that family. And like ghosts, you are assigned with random housemates around the world. There’s young, there’s old, there’s teenagers, and the awesome part is you get to choose when you die “die” from the ghost world. But you only got one chance. And people who committed too much sins during their lifetime can only choose 95 or above as they don’t get their chances of having fun again. 

Then what’s after ghosts, they ask. It is simply another life form similar to humans but with a longer time span. And you get to enjoy more if you did live out a good life span. But you get to decide whether to reincarnate or stay as ghosts based on your credit score, which is age. 

The better you do, you get to choose to be younger. The worse you do, you stay. It’s literally like a Soviet Union credit score you feel me. 

But you get to stay at 25 too, the number is just a number. It kept in good record of. 

But what about the previous people that I loved before? Don’t worry, you do good, you get free will to pick. Simple enough. That’s why you get to stay here as long as you want. God give us a choice for everything, or does he? Are we still program? Probably. You get to stay or reincarnate. It’s freedom, and the greatest gift granted in the ghost world, what most people would say.

Ghost story

Alright, lemme share about my dunking journey in the past 6 months. Over the summer, I was just staying on campus preparing for software interviews and stuff, and there’s really not much to do, so I’m like. Alright, I’ve always dreamed of dunking, lemme actually make that a real thing. I was never bouncy and stuff as I am more of a shifty guard type of player. So I first began by working out, mostly squats and core training, just to get my body in shape so that I could be explosive enough to take on the jump. I first started w no plates and progressed slowly from that point. 

Fast forward to 3 months, I was not even being super consistent and stuff thanks to schoolwork and other shenanigans. But one Friday, I’m like, lemme actually try catching a lob. After like a few attempts, here’s what I got. Even though it hit the back of the backboard, but I was still super hyped just to have my palm above the basket and being able to grab the rim after putting the ball in.

At this point, I’m like, oh my god, I actually have the potential to do something more, and I started taking my work out more consistently. 

And another 2 months has passed, I think, 

So main takeaway for me is that,
Dreams are def feasible,
And we just have to constantly believe in ourselves.
Have a good day.

Asian boi dunked

Imma start with, hey mom, I’m graduating, yes, you didn’t hear it wrong, I’m somehow accomplished!

With ups and downs, that’s how we learn. As a polarizing figure the school and mostly, the impeached president, I gotta say I love this school till the very end. Even though it’s a paradox, I’ve learned and experienced all sorts of things that I’ve ever foreseen. And yes, it’s quite interesting.

High school, a new turning point, has now became a memory. Stepping into the campus with an estranged atmosphere turned into a casualness of familiarity. For me, a 16 yr old kid, who on the first day, cried when leaving his home for the first time ever. My journey started that way, carrying the hopes of my mom as well as my great ambitions. 

Before I came, I envisioned a school like that of high school musical, happiness and lyrical. However, if it’s all joyful like that, it woulda be quite boring. Funny story, first day I was here, I met my first roommate, who I said in English, “what’s up, I’m Michael”. He simply replied, “sorry do you speak Chinese”. I totally felt like I  stepped into the perfect American school, experiencing the culture that I had been wishing for since a young age. Since that day, I’ve met all kinds of interesting people, and some of those who now I can confidently call them “bros”.

Another life lesson I learned in high school is that “It’s through those ugly things that we learn, appreciate, and improve ourselves, maturing into a more unique individual”. It’s through our first relationship, second relationship, 3rd, 4th, ball games ( either win or lose), hangover, failed exams...... and all that. We fail, we stand back up. 

Because I don’t have enough cash to buy myself a Lambo or 10 pair of Gucci shoes like some of the other students, I have decided to make my experiences priceless. Thanks to the atmosphere and the people, that became an accomplished goal. Because the school is so small, I get to meet and talk with all kinds of groups, from the nerds to the athletic stars. Through those, those who I trust eventually become my friends. And those who don’t, also taught me a lesson, that is teaching me to decide “the kind person that I wanna become and the kind of person I don’t”. It sounds really cheesy, but I’ve appreciated every moment there is, helping me to become a finer individual. 

Through all the moments, including breaking all the small rules that make us to feel like a more awesome person, instagramming stories that we think are the coolest moments in southwestern history, and complaining with mates about the ugly truths of the school, is the unique part of southwestern. It’s brings us so much closer, like brothers and sisters, and we are so united, solely for none other reason, then to express our underrated hate. 😂 Those complaints pass on, it becomes a tradition. Without the hate, it would not be the Southwestern Academy that you all know. Some hate it so much, but somehow their siblings pop up after 2 or 3 years. The more we hate, the more we love.

After I graduate, I’m definitely going to miss all your faces and the vibe that you bring. Growing up as a single child, you all let me experienced what it means to be a part of a huge family, helping each other, or “harming” each other in all sorts of ways (joke), I’ve become so attached and made me felt the sense of belonging, my second home. 

Last thing, class of 2019, we are finally graduating. But there’s one thing that I don’t want you all to change. That’s all of your quirky and outstanding personalities. Don’t let things that come in the way change you, let it only make you better.

Mikey out! 



High School Speech

So basically, my high school is in LA with 98 percent of Chinese students. Not like American born ones, I mean the international students that wear Gucci's and Balenciagas. I know it makes no sense, but that's just how it is.

That's not a bad thing, it's just, RIP, to the American high school life most of us envisioned.

Our headmaster happens to hate the Chinese kids, so from now on, let's call him Mr. H. Even though these Chinese kids make up 95 percent of the students, our headmaster somehow still hates them. Our school is basically just a place for Chinese kids in some part of United States.

These students are super rich - like this one kid I know, his dad owns the company that makes chipsets for Apple. And it's the Apple we're talking about here. I remember at the end of each school year when students gotta move out their dorms, these kids got too many designer brand goodies to fit in their luggage, so they just put it outside their rooms for others to take. And lucky for me, that's how I got my Supreme and Off-White clothes.

I fell into the position of the student body president during my senior year. And through the first semester, I was acting quite respectful to him. But I did not kiss up to him like the other students, which is basically suicide for me.

So, on a Friday night, me and 3 other friends were planning to go and grab some food. Because we got this Indonesian kid in our group, we decided to go to this Indonesian restaurant that has heavenly noodles. But, this crime happened even before we went to the restaurant. It happened when we were leaving the campus. It happened while we were getting in my friend's BMW. 

We didn't even know about this rule before we got punished. Basically, our headmaster created this rule that students aren't supposed to drive other students because international students don't have this covered in their insurance. But come on, what kind of high school kids will choose to pay a 10 dollar Uber fee when your friend can offer you a free ride?

Getting those heavenly noodles not only brought me a suspension, it brought me my impeachment from the presidency too. Just for you to know, that position in our school is similar to the prom king in other schools, which is "pretty cool." So that transition is like going from king to peasant.

And of course, I was kind of let down by this news, but not because I ate those heavenly noodles. But because I could've done so much worse to get the same treatment. I remember a legend who once left a surprise on our dean's desk, then put a fork on it afterwards to celebrate his effort. Of course, he almost got expelled. But getting in a car got me almost the same result. I feel unjust and seriously offended.

Through all this time I was being respectful because he's the boss. It's like the ancient times, if you offend the king, you're done. But eventually, I became used to being a normal student once again, shying away from the school's spotlight. Like what people say, after a storm, there comes a rainbow. For me, I got 2 peaceful months before I realize things weren't over yet.

About two months before graduation, when I'm chilling with a couple of friends after playing ball, the Vice President that took over my place after I got fired showed up. I already knew something was gonna happen because we haven't really talked to each other for a while. It's like people kind of stopped talking to me after the impeachment. You know in high school, most people are status chasers. And since I lost the spotlight, they shift their attention somewhere else.

She came up and said, "Hey bro, so I just met with Mr. H, and he decided that your punishment isn't enough." Then she dropped the bomb: "You're not allowed to attend prom and senior dinner. Additionally, you gotta show good behavior to attend graduation."

This hit harder for me since prom is like the biggest event for our school, especially for a senior. And I think I would wanna attend this event more than anyone else since I'm literally the guy who planned the entire event and acted as the middle man for the school to sign the contract. And because I was in charge, I made sure the place was amazing - it's on a cruise with see-through sides.

Even though I knew this 90-year-old man in charge wasn't gonna change his mind, I still emailed him a couple of times just to try my luck. It's like politics - you spend time and effort just to get back ridicule and nonsense.

Those of you reading would say, "Hey prom is not much of a big deal." True that, because taking that away is basically similar to what happened to other seniors in 2020. But nah, the feelings are different since it happened slowly. Like I gotta watch people get ready for the event while being forced to be apart.

But even with all this stuff, most of the students, including me, still love this place. The only thing wrong was just our headmaster - it's just me being extremely unlucky because I had to deal with him a lot. I'm kind of thankful for all these weird problems, because you end up appreciating everything else a lot more. So ultimately, most students form a love-hate relationship with this place.

Words